A note from Brenda: I recently attended a Contemporary Christian concert featuring several musicians. One gentleman humbly approached the stage and stated, “12 years ago I was given 5 years to live; I have an incurable cancer.” Post-diagnosis, Tim Timmons married and now has four children. He gave me permission to share thoughts from his blog posts with you.
Cancer is a gift.
Yup, I said it. Cancer is a gift. Now as I start this blog, please know this: cancer sucks. I’m not happy about it: treatments, dr. visits, meds, symptoms as constant reminders, managing everyone else’s emotional state in regards to it, the financial drain, lifestyle limitations, the fears of not being there with my wife and for my kids as they graduate or get married…stupid. I repeat, cancer is stupid.
And yet, the gift of this cancer experience has been that of perspective. You know when you have a near death experience and barely squeak by…your perspective becomes glaringly sober. The awareness of your mortality and all that is and is not important stares you down to your most basic existence. Things like “I’ve been taking things and people for granted” or “I’ve been wasting time on things of no consequence” seem to echo through your heart, mind and soul.
For me, cancer gives me a daily dose of this reality that keeps me grateful. Now I can tell you that I lose sight of this gifted perspective every day and think/act/react in ways that are not so healthy, but the gift is in the daily reminder (usually after I’ve forgotten) to cherish every breath I take, resting in Who’s I am and nothing else.
I know it sounds crazy, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Yes, I’m ready to be healed, and I ask Jesus for that daily…I actually live as though I will be healed at some point, but in all the craziness of cancer there is a gift. The gift through an incurable cancer, or any other sorrow we face, is perspective. And perspective is the gift that keeps on giving.
I write songs that are simply prayers I need to hear! “In our weakness, in our fight, in the midst of every trial, be lifted high, be lifted high. In the waiting, in the fire, every moment of our lives, be lifted high, be lifted high.” (For Your Glory, Cast My Cares 2013)
I live for the presence of God in my life now, today. I’m learning to not obsess about the future. This posture starts for me at the beginning of each day, on my knees, asking Jesus to reveal what he has for me. All I have to do is follow Him. Cancer is not my story. The perspective through cancer is my story.
Tim Timmons, Singer/Songwriter